This is an excerpt from Yung’s world – our college fest newsletter of 2006. Written under extreme persuasion from seniors (ah the memories of first year) The authors disclaim all mistakes, errors in fact, opinion and viewpoints. Read it for fun…

HE ON SHE..

Credits – Vignesh.J

She sat in the corner of the room inquisitively eyeing the box on the table in the middle. The instructions given to her were clear. She was not to open the box and any cost and was to rather safeguard it… But the serpent in her head had already started whispering to this daughter of Eve. A few moments of contemplation and she was running across the room to open the box. Pandora opened it slightly, just a peek she thought. But that was enough. The harm had already been done. The only thing that remained in the box was hope and man had only that to cling on to.

God had created woman to be a partner to man. Well.. what can I say but that God had definitely erred this one time. Women have a constant need to reprimand others for the fun of it, acquire beautifully useless yet costly things, listen to undue praises of her beauty and have power. How is it that any sensible creature (and that’s man!) would be able to put up with such a fickle, selfish and egoistic life form as a partner.

In today’s world, what a woman is has become transparently clear. Assign her a work and you hear the retort, ‘C’mon I’m a lady!’. But if you had not offered her this work, the result would be accusations of being a chauvinist and undermining a woman’s capabilities and what not. Come to think of it, what are a woman’s capabilities? I guess it would continue to remain one of the world’s biggest mysteries of all time. Let alone her abilities, her intentions are quite undecipherable too. She slaps on the make-up, dresses up sensually, walks out into the open and accuses men of staring at her. ‘Gimme a break!’ You want to be looked at. Attention is one of the basic necessities of womankind and yet she tries to hide this by accusing men of attending to her, all the while, no doubt, enjoying all of it.

Today she continues to holler out for status on par with men on one hand,and on the other hand, spends her energy in getting reservations for women. Who in their right minds wanting equality would call out for reservations? I guess the answer is no one, as women are obviously not in their right minds. For God’s sake, get a grip on yourselves, ladies! I would suggest you clear your minds and then think what exactly is it that you want or what exactly is your purpose. Not that it will help, but at least for those fleeting few seconds mankind will have peace.

SHE ON HE…

– Divya

Walking through the woods or even the concrete jungles of today’s existence for a nice solitary interlude, you are rudely jolted out of your sense of wellbeing by ‘our favourite social creature’ – Man. He has taken it upon himself to offer his assistance, well intentioned of course, to a damsel in distress. You can barely fend off his advances as he tries to demonstrate his ‘ahem’ macho strength. ‘ You seem a little lost ma’am’ – he comments, lording it over you as if it were his own world you were trespassing into. Why is it that men consider themselves the rulers of the planet and ‘poor’ women, their little sub-ordinates or worse, pets for their entertainment! I mean, hey we are of the same species aren’t we? ; though it doesn’t seem very apparent at first sight. The attitude towards the so-called weaker sex has been inbred over millennia globally, though we could say that India is one major hot-spot. Which girl hasn’t experienced a situation where she had to give up something willingly or otherwise, just because she’s a girl? What is the point of all this anyway? Forget now, this has been continuing since the age of the Neanderthal when the man dragged his woman to the cave by her hair. Don’t tell me that guys have gotten over their primate state. They still bare their teeth and glare (‘How dare you disobey me, you puny little twit?’) when you happen to trample on their oh-so-fragile male ego. And they also propound their sacred beliefs to one and all.

Take Adam, he put the blame for his sin squarely on Eve’s shoulders and she in turn transferred it to the snake. That’s inter-species chauvinism but I’m getting off my topic here. Well, anyway the dictionary defines male chauvinism as ‘ an unreasonable, aggressive belief of superiority of the male gender’ and obviously that’s what it is. I mean, holding the door open, paying the bill, taking over the manual labour can be termed chivalry but when it’s done with a long suffering ‘ I have to do it cos’ you can’t’ attitude, we’d rather not have it. And this is not spouting any feminist crap. It’s just stating a simple fact that no girl is a bimbo or incapable of taking care of herself. Sure we’d like some company and probably help too, but not from arrogant, smirking slobs. Any girl who’s all fluttery eyelashes giving ‘Oh, my hero!’ looks is obviously taking you for a ride. Imagine being kicked by the same girl for your high-handed MCP-ness. Wake up and smell the coffee, bro!

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